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Mondays With Maria - Middle School Concerns
Posted on 11/18/2024
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Announcer: Welcome to Mondays with Maria, presented by ADDITION Financial Credit Union. Here's OCPS Superintendent, Dr. Maria Vazquez.

Maria Vazquez: Hi everyone. Nancy Alvarez is back. So today, Nancy, I want to focus on an area where parents get a lot of anxiety. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, you and I have had conversations about this and it's middle school.

Nancy Alvarez: Yes. Yeah. Let's talk about middle school. I feel like I'm having a therapy session with the superintendent. This is wonderful. You know, we know it's, it's not an easy time. My kids are in sixth and eighth, so I'm in the, the thick of it. Right. And there are a lot of concerns.

Maria Vazquez: Right. And that's what I want to talk about because you right now are a parent with middle schoolers. Yeah. But this impacts everyone. Either they all have already had a child, they have one now, or it's coming up. So, this I think, is going to be a topic with a lot of interest.

Nancy Alvarez: Right. Absolutely.

Maria Vazquez: So, Nancy, I'm going to put you on the spot, <laugh>. Alright. Okay. So what was your greatest fear as your children were going into middle school?

Nancy Alvarez: Yeah. I think, you know, for me and a lot of my, my mom friends, you know, who were all kind of going through this phase together. It was, it wasn't any different, I don't think than any of, of the, of the things that that middle school parents face heading in. Right. Generation, from generation, we worry about, you know, are they going to fit in? How are they going to transition from having one teacher to seven? Because that's a lot, you know are they going to find themselves? Are they going to go down the wrong path or be influenced by, you know, the wrong kids? These are all things that I think from generation to generation we've all faced. Right. But I think our kids have this added layer of anxiety due to some of the school security issues that we're all dealing with. I mean, that's the reality. Whether it's a drill or it's, Hey, we're on lockdown, or we're code this, or code that, or find your safe space in your class to hide. I mean, this is the reality for our kids. And I think it just adds, you know, just an extra layer. I, I don't know what other word, to use an anxiety to what these kids have to deal with at a, at a really critical time in their lives.

Maria Vazquez: Yeah. You, you make a fantastic point that middle school is such a crucial age. Yeah. Right. Children are at a time when they're trying to find their true identity. They're going through a lot of physical and emotional changes, and now you add Yeah. Security. And ironically, the, the drills that we have to do, were meant to make them feel safer. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> that if something were to happen, we're prepared. And this is what we do. So I, I know that for many parents, that is a, a level of anxiety and I think the best thing that parents can do, whether they're in middle school, elementary, or high school. Because I think that anxiety exists. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> at all three levels is to have conversations about what, why we have them, that schools are safe places that if they see or hear something, to say something. But you bring up a great point that on top of everything else now, the, the, the safety issues. So did you worry about discipline at all?

Nancy Alvarez: Of course. Yeah. I mean, that's an issue I think in every school, but I wanted to ask you about discipline because do you typically see it go up in the middle school years?

Maria Vazquez: So discipline does increase when they're going into the middle school and the, and high school as well. And I think part of that is that they are exposed to so much more. Right. They are engaged with a lot more children. You have the social media aspect. Most of our students at the elementary level don't have phones, but if they do have phones Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, they're restricted at the middle school level, social media just explodes. And so you have that level of interaction, that level of sometimes bullying that takes place. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And so the discipline does tend to go up. The good thing is that there's a lot of resources available for our students. So if they get in with the wrong crowd, if they see that they're having a problem, you can talk to your teacher, your guidance counselors. There's deans, there's administrators that are there to help so that you don't make the wrong choice. And I think for parents, it's so important that they keep open dialogue with their child so that they know if their child is having difficulty, they too can reach out for support and help at the, at the school level.

Nancy Alvarez: It's so important to, to reinforce that there are options out there. And I tell my daughter all the time, she's just 11, she's sixth grade. And I say, look, if you don't want to tell me about it, you don't want to talk about it. Talk to Ms. Kelly about it. Ms. Kelly is her best friend's mom. Right? Oh, great. It's a village. It's a village. And the guidance counselors, all these folks you mentioned, they're part of that village too. And so it's, it's so important to remind our kids of that constantly. And on behalf of middle school parents everywhere, thank you for doing these town halls in middle schools. This is so cool. And I know that you've been getting a lot of really good feedback from parents.

Maria Vazquez: Yes. And it's a great opportunity to have our, our middle school families come out, learn a little bit about the district connect with individuals at the school and resources that we have at the district level. And I'm so thankful that my team was able to reach out to some middle school parents and find out. Same thing I asked you. Yeah. What are the greatest fears you face as your child was getting ready to enter middle school? And our first one that you're going to hear from is a parent from Sun Ridge Middle School. Well, let's watch and listen.

SunRidge MS Parent: As a middle school parent my biggest fear for my child going into middle school was number one, her safety. Just from anything going on outside, but then also just other students navigating hallways. And yeah, that would definitely be my number one fear.

Nancy Alvarez: Alright. Yeah, what she said right there really kind of reflects what I said. And it's that that layer of the safety concern on top of everything else our kids are, are dealing with when they enter this, this big phase in their lives.

Maria Vazquez: And you mentioned the hallways, which, you know, being, you know, an educator, you're, you become accustomed to that. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. But I was at a middle school earlier this week and that was one of the comments, oh my gosh, there's so many kids in the hallways. And so I think that acknowledging that that is a, a fear that the child might also have is important for parents to acknowledge and to have conversations with their child. Look, there's going to be a lot of kids in the hallway. You want to be careful. Somebody might bump into you, you know, you can say, excuse me. But it, it's so interesting to me that the things that she mentioned are also some that were concerns for you.

Nancy Alvarez: Yeah, absolutely. I think a lot of parents have that in, in common again, is that, you know, just that that safety issue and the anxiety it creates in these kids is when they're already dealing with so much. Yeah.

Maria Vazquez: Yeah. Well, next let's hear from a parent from Southwest Middle School.

Southwest Middle School Parent: As a middle school parent, the greatest fear I had of my child going into middle school is probably maybe them getting bullied by other kids in the school. And, you know, so far none of that's happening. Everyone's just doing their thing. They got their little groups, they go in their little places and they focus on what they want to focus on. And that's been, that's been kind of nice. It's been a relief. My kid's really been enjoying himself in middle school.

Nancy Alvarez: That's awesome to hear that dad talk about, you know, what a great experience it's been like for his kids. And it is, you know, for a lot of our students it's smooth sailing, but we know that for a lot. You know, it isn't, and I won't go into the details, but, you know, in middle school is when I first learned about the no contact contract, I didn't even know that was a thing. <Laugh>. But it is, and it's just, you know, one, you know, recourse that kids have when they go to their guidance counselor and, and these, and these counselors work to, you know, quell any issues that may be arising when it comes to bullying. Yeah.

Maria Vazquez: So I, I hear a lot from parents. We don't want to say anything because mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, we don't want it to make it worse. The reality is that no one should be bullied in our schools. And if we don't know about it, we can't help remedy the situation. And sometimes the situation can be remedied with a simple conversation. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> amongst the students. Sometimes it may need to take a more aggressive action, like you mentioned, a no contact contract. And that's exactly what it is. The students involved are not to have contact with each other or they would face more severe consequences. And in rare occasions then we do look at, you know, a suspension, but all bullying is investigated. And I want to assure parents that if your child is being bullied, you need to reach out to the school. We will investigate it, we will take care of your child. Alright. And next we're going to hear from a parent at Lake Nona Middle.

Lake Nona Middle Parent: Hi. My biggest fear when my daughter entered middle school was her being able to balance academics and also the social changes that occur in middle school.

Nancy Alvarez: Alright. So let's tackle both the academic and the social changes. You know, I think for me, I'll take social and one of the hardest things was that this is when my kids got phones. And that is just a whole new world for us to monitor the text messages. Who are you giving your phone number to? Who has your phone number? I am trying so hard, Dr. Vasquez, to stay ahead of this thing. My daughter's not allowed to give anyone her phone number unless I talk to the parents first. But that's really hard to keep up with because middle school is a whole new environment. You have seven classes, there's all these new and different kids and it's, it's hard to stay ahead of it. And then academically and you're going to touch on that going from one teacher to seven. Oh my God.

Maria Vazquez: Well, look, I'm going to first respond to the social because I really think that is so important. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> social media has such an impact on our children. Yeah. And some of the precautions that you mentioned, I think all of the families need to try and implement them. Need to know who your child is hanging out with. What sites are they visiting? Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. Look at their text messages, what's happening back and forth. They are so vulnerable and they want to be accepted. And sometimes people take advantage of that. And so I think being very engaged in the social media and the phone aspect of middle school is critical. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> as for academics, yeah. Organization is a key, key skill in middle school because now they are, they're juggling six and seven teachers. Different timelines, different days when there's tests, different homework assignments. Our parents can keep track of that through the portal. If they don't have a sign on, they can reach out to their school or they can sign on, learn how to sign on our website. But being on top of the academics early on is very important because it could go downhill very quickly. And so I, I can say that yes, balancing the social the social aspect of middle school and the academics, I think is a huge challenge.

Nancy Alvarez: I have an academic hot tip I want to pass along. Okay. So when we first started middle school, I would say, do you have homework? No, I don't have any homework. Okay. Move on. Do you have homework? No, I don't have any homework. I learned to change the phrases. Do you have any unfinished assignments from when you were in the classroom? Oh, all of a sudden we have homework. So, when I changed the phrase, we really got on top of the work we had to do at home because really in, at least in our middle school, it's not so much homework, it's just the stuff that you were doing in class that you didn't finish, that you got to finish at home. Yeah. And as soon as I changed what, like the way I was saying it and it made all the difference. Isn't that crazy? <Laugh>.

Maria Vazquez: It, it is. One other point on that is stay in touch with your child's teachers. Yes. Right. They can provide such insights for you and really be true partners in the educational journey of your child, especially through middle

Nancy Alvarez: School. Yeah. And we think that they're busy and we're bothering them, but that's, they appreciate the support.

Maria Vazquez: Yes, they do. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> teachers very much appreciate parents being involved and supportive. So I really want parents to know that their partnership is absolutely critical to us and keeping an open dialogue. So we've opened another thought exchange to get input, scan the QR code on the screen. Not only am I looking for topics that you would like addressed here on Mondays with Maria, but also what is on your mind, what's working, what's not working. I would love to hear from you Again, please scan the QR code on the screen. Thank you all for watching. Remember to like and follow us on social media and hit subscribe on YouTube to get notified when a new episode is posted. Thank you again, Nancy, for being with us today and talking about middle school is such an important topic. Thank you. We'll see you next week on Mondays with Maria.

Announcer: For an extended conversation on today's topic. Listen to the Mondays with Maria podcast available wherever you get your podcasts. Mondays with Maria is presented by ADDITION Financial Credit Union. Count us in for every step of your financial journey. Learn more at Additionfi.com. For more OCPS news and information, visit TheSlice.ocps.net. I'm your announcer. Kaleb Priester, a senior at Jones High School. Thanks for watching and have a great week.