A study done by Common Sense Media said tweens and teens are spending, conservatively, an average of five-to-seven hours per day on some form of digital media for enjoyment purposes. Some studies indicate it’s actually upwards of nine hours a day. Teens express the feeling of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), which keeps them latched to their devices for most of the day and often late into the night.

As a result, digital overload is common and symptoms mirror anxiety and depression. Many children are experiencing symptoms of lethargy; difficulty concentrating; disconnection; obsession with screen time; challenging sleep patterns; and irritability, to name just a few.

Education and boundaries are key in helping our children develop a positive relationship with the digital world. When our children learn to drive, we are forced to sit in the driver’s seat and instruct and correct them. We would never hand them the keys to the car and let them drive unsupervised. We know the dangers of driving, so we put a lot of energy and boundaries ensuring they do it correctly to keep themselves and others safe. With digital media, we are being tasked with helping our children develop appropriate boundaries with their social media in order to ensure good emotional and physical health.

On Tuesday, January 31 from 6 p.m. – 8 p.m., Sierra Expeditionary Learning School (SELS) is hosting a FREE screening of the acclaimed documentary Screenagers at the District Office Board Room, along with a panel discussion to conclude the evening.

This film focuses on how our teens and preteens are being affected by the unparalleled influences of digital media and the use of computers, video games, and smart phones.

Some of the topics we will be covering during the panel discussion include:
How parents can easily maintain power and control over their child’s use of technology
What is appropriate technology use?
How to devise at-home Social Media/Digital Use Contracts to be used with your children
Safeguards to implement at home to keep your student safe
What research says about how sleep patterns and school studies are impacted by technology use

Digital media continues to evolve and grow and we can expect even more use in the future. By understanding the unique challenges facing our students with this plethora of digital connections and setting appropriate boundaries, we can help them navigate this process in a healthy and productive manner.

The first day of school has arrived. New adventures await. With the return of school, mixed feelings are common. A majority of students will be experiencing change of one sort or another. Changing schools, changing teachers, meeting new classmates, starting school earlier, new classroom routines, the list goes on.

As children embark on these changes, their feelings can range from fear to excitement and everything in between. Many will feel some level of apprehension about beginning something new and it’s useful to acknowledge and normalize it for them.

Reflecting what you notice to your child will help them better understand themselves and how they are handling transition at this moment. Using the present tense when describing what you see will allow your child the freedom to change the way they perceive the experience. For example, I might say to my son, “you seem worried about who you are going to hang out with this year.” Instead of, “I notice that you always worry about who your friends are going to be when you start school.” By explaining what you notice, they have an opportunity to put it into a context where they can see it’s a temporary experience.

Finally, some empowering and creative strategies to support your student as they re-enter the school year:

Reflect back on summer. Give your child time to remember all the adventures they had, ask them what they enjoyed the most, and share some of your favorite moments.

Project Forward. What are they thinking or feeling about the upcoming school year? What are they looking forward to? What are they feeling nervous about? What are their goals for the school year? How do they think they are different from the previous year and what will those differences mean in the upcoming school year?

Create a Vision Board. Use pictures and words from magazines and create a Vision Board where they can paste magazine cuttings or draw pictures, write quotes, decorate in a way that will support the vision they want to create. These tools offer a creative outlet and help kids (and adults) feel empowered as they move forward. For those more technically inclined, there is an FREE app called Hay House Vision Board where it can be done digitally.

Listen. Finally, there is no way to underestimate the value of having someone who will just listen to what they might be feeling without needing to fix, change or judge it. No need to add your opinion. Allow your child to express himself and feel heard. It will bring rewards to both of you down the road.

New beginnings and changes impact everyone differently. Creating space for those differences and honoring them allows your child to be present in the moment and tolerate uncomfortable feelings. As they learn to do this, they grow in their ability to hurdle further challenges in their lives.

Alaina Reichwald is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist and the school counselor at Sierra Expeditionary Learning School (SELS).

School has a very comforting rhythm for most children and the expectation of that changing can create a little bit of anxiety. Last week, I worked with a number of students who were feeling end-of-year pressure and they needed some practical tools to move through this transitionary time.

In my work with students, I don’t intend to remove anxiety as much as to provide tools that support them in coping with and moving through some of these uncomfortable feelings. You may also be seeing some stress responses at home, which can look like: being more emotional or reactive; having a shorter fuse or is more argumentative; changing eating or sleeping patterns; intense dreams or nightmares, among many other possibilities.

Simple Ways to Support Your Child:

1. Get involved by asking how they are feeling as they head into the end of the year. You can ask them on a scale of 1-10 (ten being highest stress; 1 being the lowest and all the numbers in between) where they feel they are. Remember, this can change on a daily (even hourly) basis.
2. Ask them if there is anything you can do to support or make life a little easier. Of course, needless to say, this does not include doing their work for them. Imagine if you were coming up against a big work deadline and someone you loved asked how they could support you? How would that feel in your life? Even just a favorite meal or an extra cuddle at night can bring stress levels down. Most people recognize that just a gesture of knowing someone is looking out for them can feel highly supportive.
3. Ensure sleep and nighttime rituals are well guarded. As these end-of-year projects come forward, and the sun continues to shine until 8:30 p.m., many students (especially in upper grades) will burn the midnight oil, so to speak.
4. Help your child break up projects into small manageable chunks. Sometimes our students have a great global outlook and see the big picture. That is a great skill, but can also create
   overwhelm by thinking about all the little pieces that go into the project. If they can visualize goals listed in small manageable chunks and cross them off when completed, they will gain a sense of power and mastery over these projects and feel empowered as they skid to their deadlines.
5. BREATHE. Stress naturally puts our bodies in a fight or flight mode in order to energize us to get things done. At the end of the day, it’s nice to bring that stress level down by doing some nice slow deep breathing to recalibrate our nervous system and regain a sense of calm and presence (and ensure restful sleep).
6. Finally, plenty of non-competitive physical activity. Bike riding, hiking, picking wild flowers, skipping down the street, playing at a park or lake, or a short dance party.

Stress is a normal part of our lives, but knowing how to process it needs to be taught and practiced to gain an overall healthy sense of calm.