DISTANCE
A PARENT’SGUIDE TO

LEARNING EDUCATION AND COMMUNITY OUTREACH and UCTV	1

A PARENT’S GUIDE

TO DISTANCE LEARNING

Introduction

The disruption oftraditional schooling during the coronavirus pandemic has created an unprecedented challenge forfamilies with school-age children. Parents with no teachertraining must figure out howto oversee the education of children stuck at home in an atmosphere of anxiety and uncertainty.

Luckily, parents can turn for help to Shelli Kurth and Nicole Assisi, experienced educators who are also moms coping with home learning firsthand. Kurth and Assisi have created a series ofvid-eos for UCTV’s STEAM Channel, “Staying Sane: Tips for Parents in Unprecedented Times,” offering advice, encouragement and inspiration forfamilies struggling with distance learning. This guide shares highlights oftheir strategies. To learn more, watch their videos: https://www.uctv.tv/steam/staying-sane/

Howto Create a Space for Learning at Home ............ 3

How to Structure the Day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

Helping Kids Understand Social Distancing .............. 5

Reading with YourKids ................................ 6

What Do I Do with MyTeen?........................... 7

Communication Strategies and Problem Solving ......... 8

Dealing with Emotions While Distance Learning. . . . . . . . . . 9

Coping Skills for Kids ................................ 10

Your Self-care Tool Kit .................................11

PROJECT CONTRIBUTORS

Dr. Edward Abeyta,Associate Dean, Education and Community Outreach, UC San Diego Extension

Morgan Appel, Assistant Dean, Education and Community Outreach, UC San Diego Extension

Dr. Nicole Assisi, Thrive

Shelli Kurth, Thrive

Margaret King,Writer and Editor, Sally Ride Science at UC San Diego

2	DISTANCE LEARNING: A PARENT’S GUIDE

Howto Create a Space for Learning at Home

SET UPA DEDICATED SPACE

Establish a space foryour child that is quiet, free from distractions and readyto go every day for learning. This might be a home office or spare bedroom ifyou have one, or maybe a com-munal space like the kitchen table. The important thing is that when children are in this space, they have theirtools at theirfingertips and their mindset is about learning.

CURATE MATERIALS

Make sure the materials your child needs are close by. Foryounger children, this might include pencils, markers, crayons, a glue stick and a stapler. Preview lessons from your child’s school to see what materials will be needed. When a lesson is interrupted because materials are not at hand, that breaks the flow of learning and distracts your child.

CREATEA REALISTICAND FLEXIBLE SCHEDULE

During distance learning, a daywithout structure can seem terribly long. With your child’s input, create a detailed learning plan forwhat will happen during the day. Be sure to schedule in breaks and other activities like household chores, art or just “me time.” Once you have a schedule, be flexible about it, knowing that disruptions are sure to happen.

ESTABLISH GROUND RULES

Sit down with your child and establish some rules theywill be expected to follow during distance learning, such as, “Come readyto learn,” “Take breaks as needed” and “Do your best work.” Address issues that are likelyto arise. Are cell phones allowed in your learning space? Is food allowed? When you have a problem, howwillyou solve it?

CELEBRATE SUCCESS

Add some fun to distance learning by looking for opportunities to celebrate successes. You can cele-brate something as simple as a daywhen your child checks off all items on their learning plan. You could markthe occasion with an impromptu dance party, ice cream sandwiches or a family movie night.

Watch the video to learn more: https://www.uctv.tv/ steam/search-details.aspx?showID=35841

EDUCATION AND COMMUNITY OUTREACH and UCTV	3

How to Structure the Day

Pandemic restrictions mean many parents are spending more time with theirchildren than everbefore. That time can be stressful, but it can also be a gift. Building routines and schedules can help parents appreciate this gift.

CREATE AROUTINE

Create a daily schedule that allows children some input and autonomy. To begin, children benefit from a steadywakeup time and bedtime. Include time for schoolwork and house-hold chores as well as breaks and downtime. Foryounger children, a visual schedule with pictures and icons works well. If parents are distracted, children can stillfigure out something to do. And rememberto be flexible; you can’t followthe exact same schedule each day.

MANAGESCHOOL TIME

Don’t tryto recreate a 7-hour school day. The amount of distance learning time per day recommended by experts ranges from 90 minutes foryoung elementary students to 4½ hours for high schoolers.

PUT SOME FUN INYOUR ROUTINE
Break up your routine with fun activities. Even young children can help brainstorm things forthe familyto do together. Some families keep a jarwith activities on slips of paper. Now is a good time to take on something new, such as an art project, a hobby, learning a language or mastering a new cooking skill.

INCLUDETIME FOR EXERCISE

Physical activity is good forthe body and the brain. Ifyou can, take a walk around the block or go for a bike ride. Even indoors, you can play balloon volleyball or compete in a family challenge – who can do the most pushups or sit-ups in a minute?

BUILD READINGTIME INTOYOUR SCHEDULE Reading skill is the No. 1 indicatorfor students getting into college and succeeding there. Make sure children have ac-cess to reading material. Check out Libby, an app that lets you borrow and read eBooks free.

MAKE TIME TOCOMMUNICATEANDCONNECT Agree to turn offthe screens at some point during the day, perhaps at dinnertime. The news is filled with things that cause anxiety. Take time to connect and communicate awayfrom the day’s bad news.

LET CHILDREN GET BORED SOMETIMES

Have some downtime in your routine. Boredom can allow creativity and ingenuityto bloom.

Watch the video to learn more: https://www.uctv.tv/ steam/search-details.aspx?showID=35854

4	DISTANCE LEARNING: A PARENT’S GUIDE

Helping Kids Understand Social Distancing

Maintaining social distance is likelyto be part of our lives for a long time to come. It’s hard enough for adults to sort out allthe information about disease transmission.
For children, the situation is even more confusing. It’s important to communicate with your kids about why social distancing is important.

KEEPTHINGS SIMPLE FORYOUNG CHILDREN
Help young children understand the situation by ex-plaining in simple terms howthe virus is transferred. Explain that viruses are germs that are so tinywe can’t see them, and they can make us sick ifwe breathe them in or sometimes ifwe touch things.

EXPLAIN WHY WENEEDTO WORK TOGETHER
When talking to young children, explain the need for social distancing in a waythat relates to their experience. You might note that when an ambulance goes by, we all pull over as fast as we can because as a community, we’re trying to protect the person in the ambulance. In the same way, when we keep socialdistance, we’re working togetherto keep ourselves and those around us safe.

HOW FAR IS6 FEET?

Get creative in helping young children recognize and rememberwhat 6 feet of distance looks like. One way is to measure out 6 feet of string or ribbon. Put it on the floor and stand 6 feet apart. Then remove the ribbon and askthe child to estimate distances between various things. Have them put toys on the floor 6 feet apart and then use their ribbon to check. You can even turn this into a math exercise. How manyteddy bears are in 6 feet?

TALK TO TEENSABOUTSOCIALDISTANCE

Preteens and teens have a better grasp ofwhat 6 feet looks like, but they may really want to rebel against distancing rules. Talkto them calmly about whywe are distancing. Teens get lots of information, and some of it is not accurate. Share information from trustworthy sources like the CDC website and California COVID-19 website. Keep the conversation flowing and share your own struggles with social distancing. Ifyourteen messes up, withhold judgment and reiterate that we’re all in this togethertrying to do the right thing.

Watch the video to learn more: https://www.uctv.tv/shows/Helping-Kids-Under-stand-Social-Distancing-Practices-36094

EDUCATION AND COMMUNITY OUTREACH and UCTV	5

Reading with YourKids

Reading with your children can be a rewarding part ofyour home learning rou-tine. Reading increases vocabulary and primes all sorts of academic skills. Even for children who can read independently, reading together allows them to really listen
and create pictures in their minds. Here are some strategies to make reading to your children more fun, sustainable and educational:

BEFORE READING

• Get comfortable: Ifyou’re reading to multiple children, situate yourself so they all can see the pictures. Even ifthere are no pictures, let them see the pages so they can make the connection between the words on the page and what you are saying.

• Introduce the book:Showthe cover and ask children what theythinkthe story is about. Showthe author and illustrator and showwhere the title is.

• Make connectionsto similar books you have read, or perhaps books bythe same author. Discuss what children know about the topic and the setting.

• Set a purpose for reading the story:“Listen carefullyto see ifyou can figure out …”

WHILE READING

• Vocabulary: Pause to clarifyvocabulary. Let your child guess what an unfamiliar word means.

• Predictions:Pause to allow children to make predictions. Ask, “What do you think is going to happen next?”

• Meaning: Lookfor deeper meaning. At a pivotal point in the story, ask, “Why do you thinkthe character is doing that? What must be going through their mind?”

• Art: Pause and connect the illustrations to the words, especiallyforyounger chil-dren. What more can they learn about the story by looking at the pictures?

• Recap: Pause to have your child recap what they have understood so far. This gives you a chance to fill in any gaps in their understanding ofthe story.

AFTER READING

• Talk about book: Askyour child to describe theirfavorite part ofthe story and tell why. Talk about yourfavorite part.

• Review story components: Talk about the setting, the main character’sproblem and howthe problem was solved. This gives you a chance to recap the story together.

• Ask questions about why events happened and why characters behaved the way they did. Diving into ethical dilemmas helps children make connections to their own lives.

• Have your child read the story backto you:They might retellthe story by looking at the pictures, orthey might use the pictures to make up an entirely different story.

Watch the video to learn more: https://www.uctv.tv/steam/search-details.aspx?-showID=36093

6	DISTANCE LEARNING: A PARENT’S GUIDE

What Do I Do with MyTeen?

Pandemic restrictions have hit teenagers particularly hard. Prom, graduation and college admissions have all been disrupted. On top ofthat, teens can’t interact with theirfriends the waythey’re used to. Here are some strategies parents can use to help teens cope with the disruptions.

COMMUNICATION

Teenagers are not always in the mood to communicate, but it’s important to talk hon-estlywith them about the current situation. Share scientific information from reliable sources and talk about the news. Help teens understand whythey are losing activities and opportunities. When you tellyourteen to follow social distancing, you have to mean it and be consistent. Ifthey push back, actively listen and acknowledge theirfrustration, but be firm.

TALKABOUT SCHEDULESAND USE OFTIME

Talkto yourteen about what their calendar looks like. Teens should focus on schoolwork for part ofthe day, but they also need time for physical activity, time for connecting with family and friends, and downtime when they’re doing nothing. Teens also need 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night.

TECHNOLOGY

Almost everything we are doing now, from working to connecting with friends, happens on the computer. It’s the same forteens. Ifyou have strong rules about technology use, this may be a time to lighten up. Keeping in touch with friends is really important for teens.

ENCOURAGE HELPING OTHERS

Have yourteen help with meals, laundry, yardwork and house projects. Encourage them to use their expertise to help you ortheir grandparents with technological challenges.

THE IMPORTANCE OF CONNECTION

Teenagers may give off a vibe of “just leave me alone.” They need time on their own, but they also need connected time. Not every conversation is going to be positive, but having that conversation in spite ofthe discomfort is positive. Rememberthat being in
close quarters with yourteen has benefits. You get a good sense ofwhat they are work-ing on for school. Research clearly shows that parent engagement is a huge indicator of student success.

CELEBRATE THEPOSITIVE

The brain gives negative comments seven times more value than positive comments, so ideallyyou should have seven positive interactions for every negative interaction. These are tough times, but try to find some joyfulmoments to share with your teen.

Watch the video to learn more: https://www.uctv.tv/steam/search-details.aspx?show-ID=35941

EDUCATION AND COMMUNITY OUTREACH and UCTV	7

Communication Strategies and Problem Solving

What parents are being asked to do during the coronavirus crisis is nearly impossible. But the situation also presents an opportunityto create newways of communicating as a household.

BE PROACTIVE

Here are some ways to lay a foundation for calm and peace in your house.

• Practice self-care: Make sure you take care ofyourself and make sure your child is sleeping enough, eating well and exercising.

• Make time to connect: Play Legos with younger children or horse around with teens for a few minutes every day.

• Call out the good stuff: Give attention to your child for doing things you like – being a good listener or shar-ing. That wayyou encourage them to repeat the behavior.

• Provide structure: Children do betterwhen they knowwhat’s expected. As a family, agree on routines and expectations. Discuss these expectations with children regularly.

UNDERSTANDYOUR CHILD’S NEEDS

All behavior is communication, and all communication exists to meet a need. When your child behaves in an unexpected way, don’t take it personally. Instead, understand that your child is trying to communicate to meet a need. You can model more appropriate behavior so your child can see a betterwayto get their need met.

RECOGNIZE EMOTIONS

Defuse an escalating situation by naming your child’s emotion and validating it: “I can see it makes you pretty sad that you can’t go playwith yourfriends.” Having a name forthe emotion helps a child to self-regulate. They understand that the emotion is part ofthe normal array offeelings people have. The child then has a place to move forward from.

SAY ITAND MEAN ITAND FOLLOWTHROUGH

Establish appropriate consequences for breaking the rules and then don’t give in. Standing bywhat you say increases the chances that yourno willmean no and people will listen to you the first time you say something.

WHENYOU BREAK IT, FIX IT

It’s inevitable that you will make mistakes in your interactions with your children. But mistakes offer opportuni-ties to model howto fix things that didn’t go the wayyou hoped. Ifyou speak sharplyto your child because you are stressed, you might remedythe situation by saying you are sorry and asking howyou can fix things. A hug might do the trick.

Watch the video to learn more: https://www.uctv.tv/steam/search-details.aspx?showID=35912.

8	DISTANCE LEARNING: A PARENT’S GUIDE

Dealing with Emotions While Distance Learning

Stress causes our bodies to go automatically into flight, fight orfreeze mode. When you’re at yourwit’s end be-cause ofthe frustrations of home learning, here are some simple techniques you can use to calm your emotions.

DEEP BREATHING

Breathing is the waywe sustain life, but it is also a sim-ple wayto reset yourself and find a sense of calm. Deep breathing, or diaphragm breathing, slows down your heartbeat and stabilizes your mood by activating your parasympathetic nervous system. You can use this tech-nique anytime, anywhere to get quick relieffrom stress right when you need it.

• Put your hand on your abdomen.

• Inhale a little deeper and longerthan usual. Feelyour hand rise and yourwhole bellyfillwith air.

• Exhale and feelyourwhole belly relax. Feelyour hand and belly go backto normal.

• Do this as manytimes as you need.

DEEP BREATHING FOR KIDS
Kids can try a version called teddy bear breathing. The child lies down and puts a teddy bear on their belly. As theyinhale deeply, theywatch the teddybearrise. As they exhale, theywatch the teddybearfall.

BUILDA GRATITUDE PRACTICE

Taking time to experience gratitude can calm you and raise your spirits. Place your hand overyour heart and give yourself a little pat of gratitude. Sometimes it mayfeel like there is not a lot to be gratefulfor. Push yourselfto find something. You might think about negatives – “I am grate-fulthat I am not sick.” Then switch it around to something positive – “I am gratefulto be spending qualitytime with my children.”

HEART-FOCUSED BREATHING

This technique combines gratitude practice with deep breathing.

• Focus on the area around your heart. Imagine your breath flowing into and out ofthe area around your heart.

• Inhale for a count offive.

• As you are breathing in, think about someone or some-thing you’re gratefulfor.

• Exhale for a count offive.

Watch the video to learn more: https://www.uctv.tv/ steam/search-details.aspx?showID=35864

EDUCATION AND COMMUNITY OUTREACH and UCTV	9

Coping Skills for Kids

Coping skills are habits or activities that people use to manage emotions in a healthyway. Children need a little extra help in developing these skills. Being at home together offers a great opportunityto teach children some new coping tools.

SUPPORT KIDSWITH COPING STRATEGIES

• Prompt your child with what you think is happening forthem. Say, “It looks like you’re getting frustrated. What do you need right now?”

• Model coping skills foryour child when you’re feeling stressed: “I’m reallyfrustrated right now. I think I need to take a deep breath. Now I feel better.”

• Normalize emotions to help children become comfortable with what they are feeling.

• Acknowledge when your child is using a skill successfully and reinforce good habits: “I no-ticed you were getting really upset, and you used that stuffed animalto calm down.”

• Remind your child ofwhat worked in the past: “Hey, last time you did some coloring and that seemed to help. Should we try that again?”

KID-SPECIFICTOOLS FOR STRESSFUL SITUATIONS

BOX BREATHING

This technique teaches children to calm themselves by breathing slowly and mindfully.

• Draw a box and have the child trace it slowlywith a finger. • While tracing Side 1, breathe in for a count offour.
• On Side 2, hold the breath for a count offour. • On Side 3, breathe out for a count offour.
• On Side 4, rest for a count offour.

FOCUS ONTHE SENSES

This exercise lets children take themselves out of a stressful situation byfocusing on their senses:

• Name five things you can see.

• Name four things you can touch. • Name three things you can hear. • Name two things you can smell. • Name one thing you can taste.

MAKEA CALM-DOWN KIT

With your child’s help, put together a box or a bag of items to engage the senses. Possibili-

ties include a stress ball, fragrant lotion, a Slinky or a favorite picture. When the child is stressed, encourage them to spend some time with the kit.

Watch the video to learn more: https://www.uctv.tv/steam/search-details.aspx?showID=35991

10	DISTANCE LEARNING: A PARENT’S GUIDE

YourSelf-care Toolkit

Many of us are cooped up inside for a lot ofthe daywith new responsibilities and stresses. Intentional movement and mindfulness are tools parents and kids can use to stay calm and keep sane amid stressful circumstances.

INTENTIONAL MOVEMENT

When your bodyfeels better, your mind feels better. Aerobic exercise has been shown to decrease tension, elevate and stabilize mood, improve sleep and boost self-esteem. Exercise also stimulates brain chemicals that help with memory and learning. Tryto fit in at least a brief period of movement foryou and your children every day.

• Ifyou can get outside, go for a walk, a jog or a bike ride.

• Even in the house, you can do jumping jacks, play balloon volleyball or put on some music and dance.

• Do basic yoga postures, like lying on the floorwith your legs up against the wall. This gives your body a breakfrom allthe sitting and standing.

• Let younger children tryvideo resources such as Cosmic Kids Yoga and GoNoodle.

• For older kids, sit down and figure out what kind of activity appeals to them. They might take a yoga or martial arts class online, orthey might set up a CrossFit area in the backyard.

MINDFULNESS

Mindfulness is the awareness that arises from paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. – John Kabat-Zinn

Mindfulness is the opposite ofthe fight, flight orfreeze response, and cultivating it can help you maintain calm and focus in stressfultimes. Here are some ways you and your children can practice mindfulness.

• Do a full body scan from head to toe and relax the different parts ofyour body. Pay attention to everything you are feeling. Ifyour attention wanders, notice what’s happening and gently direct it back.

• Go for a walkwith your child and pick one ofthe senses. For 2-3 minutes, take notice ofthat one sense. Ifyou choose hearing, you might notice what the wind sounds like in the leaves and what songs birds are singing.

• Before you eat a sweet treat, notice what it smells like, what it looks like and what the texture is before you put it in your mouth.

• When you’re talking to someone, focus on the present and notice every single word. Just listen. This also helps the other person feel like they’re really being heard.

Watch the video to learn more: https://www.uctv.tv/shows/Your-Self-Care-Toolkit-Simple-Exercise-and-Mindfulness-Ideas-for-Parents-35911

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12	DISTANCE LEARNING: A PARENT’S GUIDE