Hi Everyone,
Most of the time I had this weekend that wasn’t spent planning how I’ll spend my soon-to-be $1.6 billion Mega Millions lottery winnings (my lifelong irrational belief that I am destined to win the lottery is a subject for a different Grey Matters) was actually spent thinking about raising, and living with, teenage boys. The mental headspace I devoted to this topic was mostly due to the teenage boy who currently resides in our house and the time spent this weekend watching him socializing with a few of his friends, all of whom are also 8th grade boys. I took my son and four of his friends to Witch’s Woods at the Nashoba Ski area on Saturday night and I treated the car rides, the pizza dinner, and brief moments when they interacted with me in a public setting, as reconnaissance to gather more intelligence (and maybe become slightly more intelligent) about my son’s world as he currently sees it. Given that they also attended a school dance the evening prior, I might have also been hoping to score a few nuggets of information about anything that might have transpired there. My earlier attempts to ask aggressively worded and confusing questions like, “so how was the dance?” didn’t get me very far. While I was able to confirm the tendency to still take exaggerated pleasure in foolish moments (which I really like about them), and unapologetic about bodily functions that involve noise and smell (don’t like as much about them), I wasn’t terribly successful with getting anything more substantive. Or perhaps I did witness something of importance but didn’t understand any of the coded language to know what was said in my presence. And then there were the three hours I spent completely solo at Witch’s Woods, except for the briefest of moments later in the evening when my firstborn rushed up to me and breathlessly said “Dad, I love you need money.” But I digress. Back to the subject at hand, my recent efforts to observe and engage in a bit of well-intentioned eavesdropping on my son and his friends reminded me of a few articles and pieces about adolescent development that I’ve shared with families in previous years and wanted to offer again for those whose curiosities about our kids overlap with mine. First, here is this article in the Wall Street Journal entitled, “What Parents of Early Teen Boys Need to Know”. This article spent time looking at which skills develop more slowly in boys, and where they may demonstrate certain strengths earlier on. Additionally, it offered a bit of initial insight into ways parents can offer some guidance and modeling in areas related to language, attention, and empathy (including something called mentalizing). And secondly, I am re-sharing an article in the Washington Post that I highlighted at the start of this year that offers suggestions for how parents (and guardians) can stay connected and engaged with their teenage sons.
The Wall Street Journal article has often reminded me of the work of Dr. Abigail Baird who visited Acton-Boxborough a few years ago. Dr. Baird teaches at Vassar and conducts research on adolescent brain development. I really like Dr. Baird because she has a way of presenting information on adolescent brain development (and explaining behaviors) in a way that is accessible and relatable. She’s also a diehard Red Sox fan so she must currently be enjoying the playoffs as much as the rest of us. By the way, thanks for the “congratulations” I received last week when my personal Red Sox playoff curse was broken. I am hoping that we’ll be able to invite Dr. Baird back for a return visit, and in the meantime for those of you interested in this topic can watch this video of an interview that she did with Lisa Kudrow of “Friends” fame (and a Vassar alum). They spend time talking about the interplay between emotions and decision making and a whole host of other really interesting topics - including some important differences in how boys and girls develop during adolescence. The interview is a bit long (about an hour) but if you’ve got the time it’s one of those videos that I have personally viewed several times, and might watch again soon in an effort to decode some of this weekend’s observations.
Ok, now for some reminders about the next few weeks:
School pictures will be distributed to students at the start of this week. We have scheduled a picture retake day for this Tuesday, October 23rd. If your child ordered a photo package and you would like to retake the photo, please have your child bring in the original package on that day (and to come dressed for the re-take!). If your student missed Picture Day earlier this year, this is also the time for him or her to have a photo taken. Even if you don’t have plans to order a photo package, it is important to have everyone’s photo taken so they will be included in this year’s yearbook.
Halloween is a week from Wednesday. A friendly reminder that dressing in costume is optional and that not all students (nor staff) participate, so each individual should feel comfortable making the choice that’s right for that student. If your student does choose to arrive in costume, please be sure to review the expectations that I shared with families in last week’s Grey Matters.
I shared a save-the-date in mid-September for an event with Dr. Sharon Maxwell who will be presenting “Who's Raising Our Kids? Nurturing Human Values in a Digital World”, focusing on the impact that “digital saturation” is having on how our children think about themselves, and how it’s changing the way children socialize and communicate. This districtwide event will be held in the RJ Grey Auditorium on Monday, November 5 from 7:00 to 9:00pm and is open to all members of the A-B community.
A reminder for 8th grade families that tomorrow morning 8th grade students will be attending a presentation by the organization Minding Your Mind as an opportunity to remind and expand our students’ familiarity with signs and symptoms of depression and suicidal thinking, and reinforce the message that our students can help themselves or a friend by taking the simple step of taking to a responsible adult about their concerns.
I wanted to take a moment to highlight (and thank) ABSAF, a community-based organization that has a long-standing partnership with the schools, and have made efforts every year to raise funds that support extracurricular activities at both RJ Grey and the high school. Without fail ABSAF has helped both schools with their ability to provide a wide-range of rich and meaningful programs that span athletics, performing arts, and student interest clubs. One of the main ways that families can and do support ABSAF is by purchasing an annual ABSAF Pass which entitles you and your immediate family to free admission to many extracurricular events that involve an entry fee. Some examples of events where an ABSAF Pass gives you free admission are home athletic events (except postseason games), and the annual musical/theatrical productions at both RJ Grey and the high school. They’ve recently completed their annual phone-a-thon (photo above), and recently posted a Fall update that you can view here. To learn more about ABSAF and its history of support for our school, you can visit their site by clicking here.
Speaking of clubs and activities, I wanted to briefly profile and celebrate Creating Change, one of our new clubs this year that blends visual art with community service. Their first project of the year included leaving little notes for anyone and everyone at RJ Grey to find. The notes are meant to be a “source of happiness and a general mood lifter” and students or staff who came across a note were encouraged to take it as a little gift that hopefully added a bit of color to what might otherwise have been an ordinary Wednesday. An important reminder, especially as we get closer to the conclusion of the Fall sports season, that students are welcome to join any of our clubs and activities throughout the year. New members are encouraged to attend an upcoming meeting of a club to see if it might be a match for their interests. You can review the list of clubs and activities here.
Several years ago, we began a small recognition program called “Everyday Leaders” as one way for us to celebrate and put a brighter spotlight on students who, in a variety of ways, demonstrates leadership through daily acts of kindness, enthusiasm, and being respectful towards peers and teachers. Twice a trimester, our teams (and each grade’s exploratory, elective, and physical education teachers) identify a student who they have observed modeling some element of good citizenship within their classes and team. Every year, the cohort of students who are identified by the teachers is incredibly diverse in terms of the qualities that are being celebrated. Sitting next to students who are more comfortable with the spotlight, there are always many students whose kindness and contributions present themselves in less obvious and nuanced ways. This past Thursday, I met with our first group of Everyday Leaders for a small lunch in the main office - this lunch actually doubled as an opportunity for our new Superintendent to connect with current RJ Grey students and learn more about the Junior High from the perspective of a few students. Congratulations to the following students who were part of this first group: Jackson Chandler, AJ Korka, Josie Hanlon, Eduardo da Matta, Sophie Pearo, Taylor Lammey, Evan Couke, Nate Lubets, Zachary Parodos, Emma Harrington, and Bobby Elliott.
Have a great week, everyone.
Cheers,
